It is quite possible that you may one day meet a beautiful, athletic woman and truly get to enjoy her for what lies beneath her muscles. In today’s world, however, with divorce rates being so high – plus out of wedlock kids – you may go into a situation in which you have to deal with her children.
How do you address that, especially if you don’t have any of your own?
First, you will have to decide if you want to go down that path. Despite her attractiveness, you must ask yourself if you are willing to take what goes with dating any woman with children. Many guys think they are ready, but few seem to be able to handle the extra dynamics that go with it.
While some circumstances are pleasant and as amicable as possible, this isn’t always the case. Here are some of the factors to consider before you make such a woman feel amazing, only to “bail” on her when things get tough for you.
- The dad (or even dads) may not always be top-quality men. Some are mean to their kids, resent the fact that they lost out on a beautiful woman, or have legal or medical issues that are challenges to the mom & the kids
- Kids get sick. Moms have to protect them, so you may not always be the top priority when it comes to taking care of kids
- Schools. If you date a woman with kids be sure that you are aware of school issues such as PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences (especially if the kid acts out due to the divorce), etc.
- Gifts for the kids at Christmas, birthdays, etc. Just be sure to budget accordingly
- Kids often have bad behavior. You will have to stay strong and firm in these situations and make sure that you are in agreement with the woman on how you will act in such situations
- Many other factors
Assuming that you truly are comfortable with the situation, here are some suggestions on how to be a man she truly respects and begins to love with a deep level of emotion:
- You have to be on top of your game. It is a fine balance between appreciating her dedication to the gym while appreciating her essence plus being a good mom
- Be caring with the kids and even offer to help on homework or a school project. Yes, re-learning 4th grade spelling and grammar may not be a bad thing for you after all!
- Remember to reward her for her special traits, not just what she does for you, the kids, any bosses, etc. She needs to know that you care for her as a woman and not just as a bodybuilder/competitor or a mom
- Be a stand-up guy. Do what you can to lead the kids whenever you interact with them. If you and the mom don’t agree on values in terms of how the kids should act or beliefs about the world, then have a private conversation away from the kids so that you always are on the same page when dealing with them
- Make sure that her few hours of “down time” away from the kids is rewarded well. This is where you will get to know her better and have fun ideas planned out together
If you don’t think you can be that type of guy, at least at this point in time. then at the very least be honest with any woman who has kids. Tell her that you think she is beautiful, and you simply are looking for a woman who can focus 100% on you (and vice versa!) instead of having to split her attention.
It may not be a comfortable conversations, but at least you are honest. Be gentle in doing so, but remember that you have to grow as a man from where you are today. If you truly cannot make the leap and be a good role-model for the kids then extract yourself from the situation. You would be putting out some bad energy if you are a guy who would make a situation worse for kids who already don’t have a home with their mom & dad in a happy marriage. Be honorable even if it means you must move on to find another beautiful woman.
