If you end up dating a woman who competes in bikini, fitness, figure, physique or bodybuilding then you hopefully will be supportive of her efforts, and she should support your aspirations as well. That is the balance and harmony that you seek to have a better relationship dynamic beyond just the superficial appearance of her muscles.
One thing that most competitors, especially those who are new to athletic competition of any form (e.g. she didn’t play a sport in high school or college), then she may not be familiar with all of the contest rules. Like any other athlete, knowing the rules gives one the best chances of winning or at least having a favorable experience. Many women in the past have complained about “bad judging”, other competitors being “unfair” on stage, or any number of other complaints.
Since you will be supportive of her efforts (right?!?), you will want to help her through her emotions if she has a bad experience on stage. All of those months of preparation, the costs of training, sacrifices, consuming supplements, tanning, buying a posing suit, paying for the entry fee and federation annual membership, and travel/hotel costs – in her mind – may go for nothing. This can lead to:
- depression for her
- taking out her frustrations on those near to her
- feeling dejected and never competing again
- binge eating out of confusion, dejection, etc. after the show
- trying to hard for the next show and overtraining and/or rising an injury
- any other negative emotion/action which can affect both her AND you
This experience has happened to many good guys out there, especially when there are blatant “politics” at local, natural federation shows. Favoritism and other garbage often happens. What is worse is when there are legitimate supplement contracts or other endorsement money risks being given to someone who is undeserving.
In order to help both of you, consider taking preventative steps BEFORE any contest. For example, you can:
- Have an agreed upon outcome that is 100% under her control, with trophies and endorsement money simply being “icing on the cake” (yeah… a cheat meal reference!)
- Manage expectations beforehand
- Help her find other ways to leverage the benefits of her training to produce respectable income so that she is not at the mercy of shady judges/promoters/supplement businesses/clothing companies who – otherwise – would control the power and cash flow of any interaction
- Be sure that you have strong emotional bonds before she starts dieting because, when the body is deprived of nutrients to that level, she risks making negative emotional decisions (and belief changes) during high emotion times (such as hours after an unfavorable experience at a contest) which – in turn – could lead to relationship issues if the two of you otherwise don’t have a genuine foundation together
- Know the rules of the contest ahead of time
Regarding the latter, you can go online to the federation or promoter’s website. Usually the rules should be visible. Print out a copy and go over the rules together to help her be ready for any situation, just like a true professional athlete does in other sports. By helping her with understanding the rules, as well as any other pre-contest strengthening of your emotional connection, you increase the odds of a favorable outcome and minimizing the previously listed problems.
For NPC shows, here is a link to the contest rules:
