The following article is a reprint, but it should be read with extra care by any men who love muscular women. These women, whether or not they originally intended to do so, have the recurring trait of “intimidating” regular women everyday. The thing is that they also “intimidate” men even the muscular women are smaller in stature.
Dealing with his own cowardice is tough for many men to address. It requires a significant amount of humility and guts to do so. For many men, it is easier to remain cowardly even though it won’t benefit them in the long run.
Here is the reprinted article which deals with being cowardly around any women, not just when you aspire to date female bodybuilders and other muscle girls:
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“You Became a Social Coward by Accident”
by Mike Pilinski
© 2007 Kipling Kat Publishing Co.
All Rights Reserved
Reprinted with permission (including bio box)
I’ll bet the following statement is true for any guy reading this who doesn’t do so well with the ladies: You don’t really understand what it is you’re doing WRONG that makes you so unattractive to women… for the exact same reason that “Casanova” who scores left and right with them doesn’t understand what he’s doing RIGHT.
Huh? Read that again if you have to. Both you and Casanova are essentially clueless as to why you ended up the way that you are in terms of your skill levels (or lack there of) when it comes to charming and seducing women. Of course, Mr. Casanova is happy with his situation. But you certainly are not!
I believe that both sets of these behavior patterns and attitudes, which lie at opposite ends of the personality spectrum, are the result of accidents that occurred when both you and Caz were just beginning to notice girls sexually at a young age — sheer random events which involved elements of good or bad luck — and nothing more.
It went like this: YOUR first trial and error experiences occurred with a girl that simply didn’t like you (probably due to personal issues of attraction and anxiety that had nothing to do with you, but this doesn’t matter). Thus you ended up with a negative reinforcement of your earliest efforts at seduction and socialization. This awkward and possibly shameful first try at romance robbed you of the critical early confidence that you needed to keep on experimenting and practicing your skills. It kicked off a descending spiral of inaccurate behaviors which then led to more and more failures with women as time passed, further stunting your social development.
More failure resulted in a complete loss of confidence, a growing social ineptitude and ultimate withdrawal from the game of flirting and attempting to game women. Your behavioral changes might’ve further progressed to episodes of delusional thinking, dark fantasies, plus drug and alcohol use etc. In other words, your character changed to make it even less likely that you could successfully interact with women, and voila’… a “nerd” was born!
Casanova, on the other hand — due to simple GOOD fortune and nothing else — may’ve tried the exact same moves during his adolescence just as you did, but HE happened to choose a girl that LIKED him, and therefore responded to his fumbling first efforts favorably. Get the picture?… a positive reaction to the exact same inept moves that you made! Merely because of random good luck, Caz happened to choose to work a girl who responded to him in an emotionally reinforcing way.
This “big break” (that you didn’t get) gave Casanova confidence AND positive social feedback — which further provided a laboratory to fine-tune his social behaviors. Maybe he grew up in an environment that supported or even encouraged those initial experimental behaviors — a supportive older sister or a female friend that he could talk to in confidence whenever he needed advice perhaps? Someone to make the female psyche seem less mysterious and intimidating to him? You, on the other hand, may’ve grown up in an all-male environment where women seemed remote and unfathomable. Possibly your every move in this arena was met with scorn or ridicule whenever you actually tried to act, making you even more gun shy after a few failed tries to get it right.
You learned to associate fear and paralysis with the idea of courting a woman!
Anyway, here’s my point: Your downward turn could’ve just as easily have been an upward turn had your luck been good instead of bad with those first early experiences. I believe that this element of LUCK is more pivotal in our lives that most of us realize. The timing of the luck is critical as well: it sets the stage for the interplay of key events upon which your self-image is manufactured in fits and starts. You see, there is really no fundamental difference between the Social Casanova and the Social Coward. Both individuals are simply the end result of being turned out in opposite directions at a critical point in their lives.
Stated another way, your current status as a social coward is all “nurture” (or in your case, lack of it…) and NOT “nature”. You see… you are no more genetically programmed to fail socially than the Casanova is to succeed… both of you simply learned how to win or lose with women as you traveled along divergent social-life paths.
Think about this… What if that first nervous reach for affection had gone differently for you? What if that first girl you ever asked out had said yes and became your “girlfriend” instead of laughing in your face and running off to tell her friends what a loser you were? Imagine how your social skills and confidence would’ve improved over the subsequent months and years if that time had been spent in social interaction (good, bad or ugly) with women instead of social isolation? It would’ve given you a whole different concept of yourself and made you an entirely different person than you are today.
And to think that it all turned on that one, damned UN-lucky first break!
Well, it’s time to stop allowing this continuing effect of random chance to direct your destiny any longer. Time to make a course correction back into the world of the living (and the socializing!). There are resources available on this site to make it easier than you might think — but it all begins with a decision by you right now to refuse to let the faded echo of a long-gone series of negative events to continue to shape your life. Until you make that decision, nothing will ever really change for you. That’s where it all has to begin… with a decision FOR yourself, rather than against you.
Mike Pilinski is the author of “Without Embarrassment” and “She’s Yours For The Taking”, books designed to show men how to employ unique psychological techniques to meet and seduce women in a low-pressure, fun manner while reducing their fear of being rejected. Visit this link and pick up a FREE copy of Mike’s 25 page Mini-Course “The Three Keys to Seducing Any Woman”, while you’re there.
